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10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above 10,000 shares of IBM (provided that the stock market is doing well).11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil (she has power of attorney anyway!)12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life, provided he deserves it.13 She seeketh yarn, fabric, and patterns to sew dance outfits (desperately) before Crista's show. 14 She is like the big restaurants, she bringeth her food from Giant Eagle and SAMs Club.15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her family. HUH? 16 She considereth a field, and buys 6 tons of topsoil: with the fruit of her hands (and her husbands slave labor �on Labor Day), she rippeth out sod (many trees� BIG ones� and planteth new lawn).She considereth another field, has hubby rippeth out more grass, putteth down more top soil, ,more bushes, while she re-landscapeth entire front yard.17 She girdeth her loins with strength, digeth a french drain the width of the house, and strengtheneth her arms from mowing the lawn. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is a great bargain from garage sales or Gabriels.19 She layeth her hands to the sewing machine, and her hands hold the fabric.20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy (and ignores the needy salesman who call at dinner time).21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she shoveleth the driveway.22 Her husband is known in the church, when he siteth at the synthesizer, or when somebody has a computer problem.23 She repaireth, toilets, installeth ceiling fans, remodeleth kitchens, patcheth drywall, mounteth wallpaper or layeth Pergo�24 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come (when Jimmy leaves for school).25 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. (Except around her mother� but she deserves it!)26 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness (but she hideth the oreo cookies so that while grandma is idle she can only eateth the bread.)27 Her children arise up, and call her
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